Love and Relationships, Personal

Healing from a breakup is incredibly hard for anyone who has gone through it. Losing someone we love can be heartbreaking and lead to feelings of self blame, unworthiness, guilt, anger and all kinds of emotions. If there is betrayal involved, the feelings can be more intense. In cases of abuse, survivors are likely to experience PTSD and can lash out in ways they cannot explain. For anyone going through this, it is important to remember that you’re not alone.  

We often believe that our love for someone will last forever, but if a relationship is not meant to be or is detrimental to our well-being, there’s little we can do to prevent its end. Many of us are reeling from the aftermath of the Venus Retrograde, which could have shed light on the negative aspects of  our relationships. This occurred from July 23rd until September 4th. A retrograde is an optical illusion created by the movement of the planets. From earth, they appear to be moving backwards in the sky. A Venus Retrograde can be considered the annual performance review of our relationships. It is the universe’s way of testing how stable these relationships are.

Another significant celestial event affecting our relationships is the current transit of the North and South Nodes of destiny into Aries and Libra, respectively. The North and South Nodes are extremely karmic points calculated on the path of the ecliptic of the moon. It is where the eclipses occur. They take place in eighteen month cycles, and influence the collective energy. This is a time when self focus intensifies and interpersonal harmony decreases. The North Node represents our collective urge to move toward a challenging but necessary direction, while the South Node represents our shadow aspects that need healing and integration. This transit spans from July 17th, 2023, to January 11th, 2025. 

The North Node’s placement in Aries urges us to embrace independence and boldness, while the South Node in Libra encourages shedding relationship patterns and connections that no longer serve our highest good. It’s likely that many relationships have already shown signs of strain, and not all may endure during this transformative time.

For those currently experiencing a breakup or separation, it’s crucial to understand that healing is an ongoing process, and brighter days lie ahead. While the journey is undoubtedly challenging, it may also be necessary for personal growth. It’s okay to take all the time you need to process, grieve, and heal. As Venus retraces her steps in her shadow phase until October 4th, take this opportunity to rebuild your self-worth and reclaim your sovereignty. You deserve a love that recognizes both your light and darkness, where you are cherished as royalty, respecting each other’s power.

Though a breakup can feel shattering, it can also mark the birth of a new reality. This is a painful process, so there’s no need to rush it. Just as you would give time for a physical injury to heal, allow your heart the time it needs to mend. The scars will remain as reminders of your past. Here are some tips to help you navigate this challenging period:

Give yourself time and space. – Allow yourself to grieve, and don’t force yourself to do much. If you need to take time off from work, do so without guilt so you can process all your difficult feelings.

Delete or unfollow them. – Even though you may want to remain friends, doing so right after a breakup can complicate things. It is better to delete or unfollow them on social media so that you’re not tempted to get sucked into a blackhole of stalking their accounts for any new activity.

Don’t try to get them back. – You broke up with them for a reason. You are most likely very vulnerable at the moment and emotionally raw. Allow yourself to detach from them and their memories, and resist the urge to get back with them out of loneliness.

Journal your feelings. – Sometimes, it can be hard to talk about your relationship with others as you may not want to burden them. Vent out all your feelings in your own private journal and see how cathartic it feels to pour your heartache out through your words.

Hang out with friends. – One of the perks of breaking up is having more time with your friends. Good friends will support you and let you cry. They will also tell you when it is time to move on and to have a little fun. 

Listen to breakup songs. – Music can be incredibly healing and studies have shown that listening to sad music when we feel sad can actually help us feel better. Make a breakup playlist and belt out your favorites from breakup veterans like Taylor Swift, Adele, Alanis Morisette or John Mayer. Nostalgia brings us back to those former heartbreaks, reminding us that if we got over those, we will get over this one too. 

Focus on the lessons. – Rather than blaming yourself or going on a vendetta against your ex, focus on what you learnt and what you can do better in the future. How did you allow the situation to happen and what can you avoid the next time? Every failed relationship is a lesson learnt.

Reimagine your future. – Perhaps in your mind’s eye, your futures were entwined together. Now you have a fresh clean slate to imagine what you want your future to look like and what you can do to manifest it. As your time has freed up, infinite possibilities are available. Visualize what you want your future to look like as well as the person you wish to be in the future.

Find something you feel passionate about. – In the search for answers of healing, through troubled and uncertain times is when we discover our life’s true passions. Whether it is in helping others who are in the same position as you, or finding renewed inspiration towards your art, channel these feelings into a cause.

Move your body. – Whether you choose to go to the gym, to yoga class, for a walk or dancing, move your body in some way. Get the stuck energy out. Get your dopamine levels up and you will instantly feel better. 

Escape through a book. – Or even a movie or a show. Getting engrossed in literature or film can also help take our minds off our own problems for a while and or help us as we relate to the characters we read about or see on screen.

Travel. – Even if it is just a short trip, traveling to a new place can feel incredibly rejuvenating and lead to personal growth. It helps us remember that there are so many new things in the world which we have not experienced and this gives us the motivation to carry on.

Rediscover yourself. And in the process of this re-discovery, fall in love with who you are. Delve into your natal chart or get a tarot reading. Shed light on who you are on the inside and your inner workings. Find new things and people that you love and make you the incredible, unique creation of stardust that you are.

Remember, healing takes time, so be patient with yourself as you embark on this journey toward self-discovery and growth.

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May 2024

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